Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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