Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
