hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
