Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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