Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
