and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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