Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
