He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
