i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She even gives head with a lisp.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
