I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
