I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
