We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
