in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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