sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I have post one night stand depression
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
