I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
