If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
