That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize