i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
