just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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