i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
