Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This is classic penis vs brain.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
