office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
