How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize