You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
