where are you?
Hypothermia
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
