The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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