I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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