he wants to bone in the snuggie
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
