There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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