I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
