Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
