we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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