No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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