Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Mom said you looked used
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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