The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I smell like Dick and happiness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
