either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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