Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Randomize