Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
