I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
