Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
