and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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