Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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