so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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