Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
