My hand turned me down
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
