Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
