i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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