I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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