hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
