Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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