Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize