Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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