i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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