Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
