I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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