he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize