Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i've created a new STD.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
