Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
