i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
