but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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